A Southern Grace: she can bake, but can she count?

October 27, 2008

she can bake, but can she count?


Apparently not.

I got tagged by the praiseworthy Prudy of Prudence Pennywise to fill out a "lucky 7" list, but I could only come up with 6 items for most of the topics.

6 things I used to do:
1. call alumni and ask nicely for money (unless they got snarky with me--then I turned on the sass)
2. film men’s basketball games--paid to watch fellas play my favorite sport, does it get any better?
3. sort and deliver mail--boooooring, plus there was that whole Anthrax scare
4. barista at a Barnes & Noble cafe--methinks I drank more coffee than I sold
5. referee rec league basketball games--man, I loved the power that whistle gave me
6. chemically analyze wine and grape samples--methinks I drank more samples than I analyzed (no, I'm only kidding this time)

6 things I do now:
1. fly all over the country
2. decide what to cook based on how picturesque it will be on my blog
3. fully appreciate the South
4. go on shopping sprees
5. ponder things like who first decided that sticking up the middle finger was insulting?
6. pull out each and every white hair I find on my noggin (count so far: 2)

6 things I want to do: (in no particular order)
1. visit Greece
2. become a mother
3. compete in a cook-off
4. grow four more inches (vertically, not horizontally)
5. own property
6. be happy

6 things that attract me about the opposite sex:
1. manners--hold open the freakin’ door! (and if I hold it for you, SAY THANKS)
2. sense of humor (a dry wit is particularly appreciated)
3. kindness, to both people and animals
4. faith, preferably mirroring my own
5. athleticism (I don't want to be more muscle-bound than he, is that so wrong?)
6. I like ‘em tall, dark, and handsome, what can I say?

6 favorite foods:
1. apple pie a la mode (cinnamon ice cream = perfection)
2. turkey burger with pepper jack cheese (and ketchup)(and mustard)
3. black bean soup, partially blended if you please
4. Mexican lasagna
5. hummus and pita
6. oatmeal scotchies, which I must never make while I live alone because I will eat them ALL, immediately

6 things I say most often:
1. Thank you.
2. I’m cold.
3. How in the world did you get a driver's license?
4. It’s cold.
5. I wish that stupid dog would shut up.
6. Why is it so dang cold?

Meanwhile, I've made no secret of the fact that I can be darn lazy at times. Halloween costumes are yet another example of that. Here are my potentials:

I could carry this sign around and be...

Yes! A ceiling fan! (That's right--I'm not even using a new piece of paper.)

Option #2:

You guessed it. A cupholder. (I would probably forego the pearls...) (...and that particular coiffure.)

Or, my personal favorite, but probably not appropriate for work:

All I have to do is wear clothes.

What do ya'll think?


Shelley said...

I think I'm gonna borrow the nudist on strike for myself. I am rolling in the floor laughing at these ideas.

Anonymous said...

As usual you are in rare form, Grace! Too funny, but I did get a glimpse of a more serious side. Be grateful you only have two gray hairs, there will come a time when counting will be impossible.

Anonymous said...

I'm cold would be on my list too ;)

Albany Jane said...

I vote ceiling fan! (that's a great one)

I've also got to admit, I cannot be hulkier than my beaus. Makes me feel like godzilla or the incredible hulk or something!

Robin said...

Grace- I would like to be a bit taller too! I heard of a good costume the other day- write Freudian on a slip and go as a Freudian Slip!! I hope the girl wore clothes under her slip or she would have to say she's COLD!! BTW why do Necco's scare you??

Lucy..♥ said...

ROTFLOL!!!! and I'm cold too!!

The Blonde Duck said...

I LOVE your favorite foods. Particularly number one. In fact, I love 1, 2, 3, 4, and 6, particularly 1 and 6. And I share your pain for
six. I have eaten entire platters of oatmeal scotchies. It's not pretty.

Personally, my vote is for nudist on strike. I think people are too dumb to get the first two.

You should come down here! I'm always hot. It's 70 degrees today and I feel like it's the artic!

Content in a Cottage said...

You are hilarious!
Another southerner in Yankeeland; and loving it.

kat said...

You could use my mom's idea & tie a hand beater around your waist & go as a motor boat

Heather said...

you crack me up! i think i like the nudist on strike costume best. i might steal that one ;) when you figure out the middle finger thing, you let me know. i wonder that too ;)

Marjie said...

"Nudist on Strike" it should be!

I'm always cold, too. My dearly beloved wears T-shirts when I wear sweaters so we can agree to the house temperature.

And can you believe I never had apple pie until I was over 40? I think I've had 2 slices now. Sad life.

Maria said...

What a fun post! Loved reading your list!

anudivya said...

You are so funny Prudy! Loved reading your list...

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHHA you're so funny!

Pam said...

The nudist on strike is a great idea! Such a great post.

I have something waiting for you on my blog.

Anonymous said...

I vote for ceiling fan if you also wear a big foam #1 finger with the name of your favorite ceiling.

Terri said...

Ceiling fan. Now that is funny!

Tabitha Blue said...

Those costume ideas are about the best I've ever heard!! Each one would be perfect. LOL

I loved reading more about you too... and 7 things is alot to think about. 6 is alot easier!


Katie said...

This is hilarious, and I will not eat apple pie a la mode with anything but cinnamon ice cream!

vanillasugarblog said...

I'm always saying "it's cold" only when it's summer, then I'm always saying "it's so hot!"


Anonymous said...

LOL you are hilarious! Next job, comedian? ;)

Elle said...

I love the cold! LOVE it.

MaryBeth said...

You have me howling with laughter, thanks I needed that.

La Cuisine d'Helene said...

Wow this is good. I enjoyed reading this.

Lori said...

Hands down, nudist on strike. Although the ceiling fan was funny, in a dry kind of way. he he.I just love your sense of humor. I knew I liked you when I read about the shoes on the side of the road. That was you, wasn't it? he he.

Pamela said...

I love the nudist on strike, but since I love all corny jokes, Ceiling Fan gets my vote!! Hilarious, Grace!!

Anonymous said...

Oh, Grace, how funny! Now, on your list of favorite foods I love the idea of cinnamon ice cream with the apple pie. And, I just made my first ever mexican lasagna this weekend- it was really awesome. Why hadn't I ever heard of it before??

Paula said...

Oh, please be "Grace the Nudist on Strike"! This was hilarious! Your list gave me such a boost; I particularly like the grow for inches - vertically not horizontally! But my personal favorite is your ponderings ...who did first decide that? I do hope you are happy and that it's not on your list because it's absent. You certainly spread much happiness with your posts! Great list!

Anonymous said...

This post cracked me UP!!!
Too funny...
I think one of my top 6 things I say all the time is I'm Hungry...:)

giz said...

You should write a script for a t.v. comedy show - hey, you could call it "Grace Under Fire"... what??? it's been used. Stick to the nudist stuff then - it'll probably get you more attention.

Anonymous said...

I want to grow four inches too! He-he, then we could really eat the baked goods.

Y said...

If I may add an additional item to the list of things you do now : #7 Crack people up with your great sense of humour ! :)

LyB said...

What do I think? Grace, I think you're so funny! You made me laugh so much with this, I swear you made my day! :)

Prudy said...

Grace: You are such a hoot. I love the nudist on strike. I may have to steal the idea for my husband. He likes a funny no effort kind of costume. I loved reading about you. I wonder about that middle finger too. I'm glad you don't have anthrax. And I wish we could have some scotchies together so we would only be eating a half batch and wouldn't grow four inches horizontally froma half batch.

Cheryl said...

A ceiling fan. I love it! That's totally my husband's kind of costume. A couple years ago, after he refused to wear a costume, I just taped a quarter to his back so he was a quarterback. That's as good as it gets around here. ; )

Cookie baker Lynn said...


Sandie said...

At first I was going to vote for "Nudist on Strike," but only because it took me a minute to get the "Go Ceilings" bit. (A ceiling FAN...hahaha...I get it now! Very clever.)

Only 2 grays hairs so far? What are you, 19?

Seriously, if I were to pluck out all my gray hair, I'd resemble Linus on The Peanuts. Thank chemists for bottling hair colorant.

Loved your 6's post. Rock on, Grace!

pam said...

I'm with you on the cold part. I always walk around school, hunched over, with my arms crossed, swivering.

Mike of Mike's Table said...

lol about the nudist on strike sign. I've been staging this protest for years at work

Bunny said...

I use to pull the gray hairs out when I found them, not anymore...I'd be half balded if I did! Great post Grace!

Natalie Que said...

Yay! I loved your 6ix things! You are so YOU. Even though I've never met you, you come screaming off the page!

Great costumes!

Tabby said...

You are hilarious! I think Ben wants to steal your "nudist on strike" idea.

Jessica@Foodmayhem said...

You're so funny Grace! Ceiling Fan, haha haha LOL haha

Vera said...

Grace, I shouldn't have been drinking tea while reading your post. Now it's sprayed all over the keyboard and monitor :) You really can make people laugh.

Ingrid_3Bs said...

Hilarious! Thanks for the costume ideas. I've been wondering what to go as.... My personal fave was "nudist on strike" I think that one would suitably embarrass the kids(they're at that age)! Paybacks!!!LOL!!!

Laura said...

One year when I was in the hospital right before Halloween I taped a sign on my forehead that said disease and left it at that. :)

Jeanne said...

Ceiling fan? You totally crack me up! My brother had a friend at school whose surname was Cull. I once suggested to him that he go to a costume party in a burlap sack. Because then he would be a cul-de-sac...