a gustatory conflict

Have you ever seen someone knock back a shot of melted butter? I have.


It was at Red Lobster (home of some cheese biscuits that'll make ya want to skip the rest of the meal), and it was repulsive. Don't get me wrong--I enjoy butter as much as the next gal, but witnessing that scene made me squirm in my seat.

On a semi-related note, I was recently reminded of one of my favorite candies when I was growing up--butter rum lifesavers. I really loved their rich flavor. I can recall hearing about a beverage called hot buttered rum and because I want to know everything, I looked up its description. Imagine my surprise (and initial disgust) when I learned that it’s made by beating together butter, brown sugar, and spices and melting this mixture into a combination of rum and hot water. To my mind, that doesn’t sound like a very far cry from taking down a shot of melted butter. Have any of you had hot buttered rum? Is it not as nauseating as I think?

I was recently given a little bottle of butter rum flavoring, and I decided to try it out in some mega-muffins. Would they taste wonderful like those lovely little lifesavers, or would they turn my tummy inside out and upside down like a dose of tepid fat?


Good news--they’re delicious. The flavor is subtle, but not too understated that you don’t immediately think buttah upon taking a bite. The moral of this post? For once I actually like an artificial flavor much, much more than the real thing. Yes, when it comes to butter rum, I think I’ll stick with candy and baked goods and leave the cocktails (and shots o’ pure fat) to the more psychotic daring among us.

Better-Than-a-Shot-of-Butter Butter Rum Muffins
(alternately, Artificially-Flavored-and-Proud-of-It Butter Rum Muffins)
(based on these beauties)

Muffins:
1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup sugar
2 eggs
2 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
1/8 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 cup milk
1/2 teaspoon butter rum flavoring

Glaze:
1/4 teaspoon butter rum flavoring
3 tablespoons sugar
milk, if needed

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Grease or line 12 regular muffin cups or 6 mega-muffin cups.
Beat the butter with an electric mixer until creamy. Add the sugar and beat well. Add the eggs one at a time, beating just until blended after each addition.
Combine the flour, baking powder, salt, cloves and cinnamon in a separate bowl.
In a third bowl, combine the milk and butter rum flavoring.
Add the flour mixture to the butter mixture alternately with milk mixture, ending with flour mixture and combining only until JUST blended. Spoon the batter into the prepared pan, filling 3/4 full. Bake for 20-25 minutes for regular muffins (or 30-35 minutes for mega-muffins) or until golden. Remove from the pans immediately and cool on a wire rack.
For the glaze, combine 1/4 teaspoon butter rum flavoring and 3 tablespoons of sugar in a small saucepan; heat slowly, stirring constantly until the sugar dissolves. If the mixture gets too thick, add a little milk. Brush the glaze over warm muffins and sprinkle with coarse sugar for a tasty finish.