A Southern Grace: fun with fiber and flatulence

December 16, 2007

fun with fiber and flatulence


As the locals say, there’s a nor’easter coming. In preparation for the snowstorm that will render me stranded in the apartment, I have decided to break in my kitchen and make and document my first dish. My options are a bit limited, as I have only two pots, a cutting board, and a cookie sheet with me. Given the lack of supplies, and the fact that it’s freakin’ cold, I decided to make chili.

First things first—protein. I have been EXTREMELY blessed in that I have never had to purchase beef at the grocery store. My grandparents have always provided us with all we need. I foolishly bought some once, was very disappointed in its quality, and have been hesitant to buy more. I’ve said all this to ease into the fact that I used fake meat in this recipe. That’s right, I used soy veggie burgers. Sorry to let you down, ardent meat-devouring friends and family.

For me, chili must contain beans. I happened to have black beans and kidney beans (of the white variety, which I had never seen before) in my oh-so-poorly stocked pantry. Tomatoes are also a necessity. One of my all-time favorite ingredients is diced tomatoes with green chiles, so I used those and a huge can of regular diced tomatoes in lieu of tomato sauce.

The spices. If you know me at all, you know that I love spiciness. I often make dishes that are too spicy for the average palate. But this dish is mine, all mine, so I can make it as fiery as I want. I used cumin (a must with anything containing black beans), chipotle chile pepper (an exciting and yet-to-be-tried recent purchase), red pepper flakes, salt, and freshly ground pepper. Yes sir, that’s a lot of fire power.

This happens to be an exceptionally complicated dump, stir, and cook recipe, so that’s what I did. First the beans and tomatoes went into the pot:

Then the chopped burgers:

Then the spices:

Lovely, right?

Stir it up.

Let it simmer over medium heat* until it reaches the consistency you desire. I like mine thick and hearty.

*I won’t lie. It took me about ten minutes to realize that I had no heat coming from the burner. It was another three minutes before I realized that I had to manually light it up. Leave me alone, I’ve never had a gas stove like this before.

Anyway, here’s my bowl of fiberful and flavorful chili. For best results, top with pepper jack cheese.

Disclaimer: Clearly, my photography skills have nowhere to go but up. Bear with me.


Unknown said...

So first you filled your apartment with natural gas form an unlit burner, then you displaced it with natural gas from another source...

grace said...

You are correct, sir.