hello jollies

I know they're called Hello Dollies, but you know I can never leave well enough alone, and come on--who the heck is Dolly?


Dolly Parton? Eh, she has a theme park named after her, so she certainly doesn't need to have these luscious bars named after her.


Dolly the sheep clone? Totally artificial and undeserving. I'm hereby taking it upon myself to rename them Hello Jollies, since they inevitably make the consumer happy.


What's not to love? Eh, I suppose there are some folks out there who might not like a component or two of these tasty treats (like my little brother, who is inexplicably anti-coconut). The good news is that you can pretty much toss in or take out whatever you want! So here's my version, made the way I like 'em.

Hello Jollies
1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs
1/2 cup butter, melted
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 cup butterscotch chips
1 cup of shredded coconut
1 14 oz. can sweetened condensed milk

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Combine the melted butter and graham cracker crumbs in an 8x8-inch pan. (I used my new silicone square pan, as these suckers have a tendency to permanently adhere to metal dishes. It worked quite nicely.) Mix well and pat down to form the crust. Evenly sprinkle the chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, and coconut on top of the crust. Drizzle the sweetened condensed milk over the whole mixture.
Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, or until the top becomes light brown.
Let cool in the pan for at least half an hour, in the fridge if necessary, and cut into reasonably-sized (an adjective very much open to interpretation...) bars.

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resistance is futile

I'm not sure when my resentment of Rachael Ray began. Perhaps it was when I saw her face on a Dunkin' Donuts commercial, on the cover of three magazines, and plastered all over Barnes & Noble all in the same day. Perhaps it was when she called her viewers "kids" for the 2938th time. Perhaps it was when I realized that she had the best job ever and that I was extremely jealous of her.


Yes, I resisted as long as I could, but yesterday I finally caved and made a Rachael Ray recipe.

To be honest, it's a shame that I avoided it for so long. Just because the woman has built an empire doesn't mean she can't occasionally make good food. I guess I'm slowly coming to terms with my envy.


I haven't eaten a lot of French toast in my life--I'm more of a pancake person--but for some reason, I was craving it pretty fiercely all week long. I did a quick search and found Rachael's recipe to be one of the more unique and appetizing, so I picked it.

I always have granola on hand, and I ended up using a bit more than the amount called for in the recipe. Also, oddly enough and most unexpectedly, I added cinnamon. The result? The toast had a gooey, spicy center surrounded by a crunchy coating. In other words, it was wonderful.


Crunchy Cinnamon French Toast
(based on a recipe by Ms. Ray)

1 1/2 cups granola of choice
2 eggs
1 cup milk
1 teaspoon cinnamon
bit o' nutmeg
4 slices bread
2 tablespoons butter

In a wide dish, beat the eggs, milk, and cinnamon. Add the bread and soak until saturated. Transfer the bread to the granola crumbs (previously pulverized, if need be) and heavily coat each slice.
In a large skillet, melt the butter over medium heat. Add the granola-coated bread and cook until golden, about six minutes per side. Douse with syrup and enjoy.

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different strokes for different folks

Chances are good that if I frequent your blog and you've made something with the words "spicy" or "chipotle" in the name, I've proclaimed my love for whatever you made. I lurve me some fiery foods.

(too bad everything except the two beans in the middle is out of focus)
(eh, they're the most important component anyway)

I love them so much, in fact, that when I make a spicy dish to share with others, I have to remind myself to hold back on the chile powder, cayenne, chipotle peppers, what-have-you. Most people don't have the tastebud/esophageal/intestinal fortitude with which I was blessed.

That being said, this soup was made for me and me alone, so I spiced it up to my heart's content. It was perfect for a chilly fall day.

(brrrrr)

I got tagged by the ladies of Equal Opportunity Kitchen and asked to list five things I'd like to have on a deserted island, ignoring all issues with food storage. Here's my list:

Milk. It does a body good.
Cinnamon. I simply can't live without it. It might even make sand taste delicious.
Chickens. Roosters and hens. That way, I've got a steady supply of eggs and chicken meat, my proteins of choice.
Beans. They're good for the heart, and bonus--upon digestion, they produce a formidable weapon...
Coffee. It's my other addiction, plus coffee breath is another weapon for my arsenal. You always have to be ready to battle The Others.

(Evil Chef Mom Krysta interpreted the tag in an entirely different way, and I must say that her top two selections render my entire list pointless...)


Finally, if you've heard of Michael Ian Black and appreciate his dry, sarcastic sense of humor, you'll probably enjoy his blog. Even if you don't like him, I think you'd get a kick of out his fruit smackdown. The final battle is rather lewd, but the rest is pretty funny.

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how bad could it be?

Really. If chocolate is involved, chances are good that a recipe will yield something quite delicious, or at the very least, edible.


The results of this experiment were no exception, although they were lacking in visual appeal...


I found a recipe for sourdough chocolate cake, but since cake is not conducive to grabbing and stuffing in one's mouth while running by the "freebie table" at work, I decided to try to turn them into brownies. To achieve this, I cut the eggs and baking soda in half. Like I said, it was an experiment. (Apparently I'm a scientist through and through.)

Putting the batter together was an interesting and unique process. My favorite part was adding the baking soda to the warm chocolate mixture and seeing it swell up and practically grow out of the bowl. The least enjoyable part was checking on my creation halfway through the baking time and seeing a surface full of dimples pits craters.


I saw it through, though, and it all worked out okay because they taste fabulous. There's a rich, chocolate flavor and a texture somewhere between cake and brownies. Hence, I give you...cownies.

Sourdough Cownies
(based on this recipe)

1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup hot water
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup butter or margarine
2 cups sugar
2 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 1/2 cups sourdough starter (active and bubbly)

To prepare the chocolate mixture, heat the chips and water in the microwave or on the stove. Bring to a boil, stirring occasionally. Stir in the baking soda--beware, the mixture will foam. Let cool to lukewarm.
Meanwhile, cream together the butter and sugar until fluffy. Add the eggs and beat well. Mix in the vanilla, cooled chocolate mixture, and starter. Add the flour, cayenne, and salt and blend until the mixture is uniform.
Pour the batter into a greased 9x13-inch baking pan. Let set in a warm place for 30 minutes.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F and bake the bars 35 to 40 minutes, or until a pick comes out clean.

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pump up the jam

The good: Jim and Pam from The Office (insert sigh here)
The bad: traffic jams
The ugly: toe jam


Blueberry jam definitely falls into the first category. Definitely.

Yeah, I did it. Forget Smucker's--I made my own blueberry jam, and it's darn good.


(bubble, bubble, toil and trouble)

I have a box of gelatin that's been glaring at me every time I open my cabinet, so I needed to find a jam recipe that used gelatin instead of pectin. Find it, I did.

After making the aforementioned jam (and tasting it to make sure it was magnificent)(it was), my next task was finding a fabulous recipe in which to use it. Find it, I did. Although Deb used fresh raspberries in her creation, I felt confident that using my jam instead wouldn't be a problem. I did have to bake them a bit longer, but that was all.


(helloooo, hunk o' buttah!)

These were some scrum-diddly-umptious bars, if I do say so myself (buckets of butter and sugar tend to have that effect...). There was plenty of that magical cinnamon flavor, and it was nicely accented by the sweet blueberry jam and hearty oats. Delightful.

Blueberry Breakfast Bars
(adapted from this recipe)

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup brown sugar
1 1/4 cups oats
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
3/4 cup butter, cut into 1-inch pieces
1 1/2 cups blueberry jam

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Grease up the bottom and sides of a 9x13-inch baking pan. To make the crust and crumble topping, combine the flour, brown sugar, oats, salt, baking powder, baking soda, and cinnamon. Cut in the butter and until loose crumbs form.
Reserve 1 1/2 cups of the mixture and set aside. Pour the rest of the mixture into the prepared pan and push the crust into an even layer at the bottom of the pan. Bake until golden brown, 12 to 15 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack and let the crust cool.
Once the crust has cooled, spread the blueberry jam evenly on top. Sprinkle the reserved crust mixture evenly on top of the jam.
Bake for 45-55 minutes, or until the top is golden brown.


(have you met Jim and Pam?)

Meanwhile, I hope you're familiar with this site. It's incredible and Wednesday's post was particularly inspired. And inspiring.

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it just occurred to me...

...why they're called acorn squash. Sometimes I'm so oblivious, I astound myself.

(mmm...squash guts)

Duh, Grace. They resemble acorns. Get your head out of the fridge, woman!


But really, it's kind of a stretch, isn't it? Except for the whole pointy-end thing.


Oh well. I've been seeing glazed acorn squash all over the place, so I decided to bake up my own. It was a good decision.


I sliced 'em up, coated them in some cinnamon-infused maple syrup (guzzle-worthy on its own, obviously), and roasted them at 400 degrees for about an hour, flipping them halfway through. The result was a sweet, smooth, succulent, and satisfying dish, made even better with a little bottle of cinnamon syrup on the side. For drizzling, of course. Not guzzling.

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sometimes i wonder what it's like to be creative

Methinks I'll never know.

We had a little Halloween luncheon at work on Friday, and I spent the entire week debating what to take. Since I like to spend at least six hours on a given post (I kid, I kid...I really kid), I have to show you what I came up with a couple days after the fact.

(my poor excuse for a costume)

I'll be the first to admit that I'm one of the least creative people in NY in America on the planet. What follows is the absolute best I could do (don't judge me).


Yep. Rice Krispies treats. Whoever came up with the first batch of these puppies deserves a monument in her honor, wouldn't you say? It's a real gem of a recipe.

(Meanwhile, have you seen the massive sheets they've created? They're for the real lover of Rice Krispies treats, like my pal James.)(Miss you, James.)

Anyway, some I decorated like eyeballs with a chocolate-covered blueberry in the middle, and others I molded into logs with an almond on the end and designed to look like a finger.


You've probably seen the cookie versions of these, so clearly they're not an original thought. Frankly, I'm just proud of myself for breaking out the decorating gels and actually personalizing them.

Hope you all had wonderful Halloween celebrations!

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