ring out the old...

...ring in the new.

turning lemonade into lemons since 1983

I don't know if any of you watch New Girl, but I catch it as often as I can, and for primarily one reason: Nick Miller, played by the laugh riot known as Jake Johnson. The character is hilariously pessimistic, curmudgeonly, and cynical, and when given the chance to ad lib, Jake consistently delivers laugh after chortle after guffaw.

He (or the writers)(or some combination of those) is responsible for my title, and I have every intention of citing it often in my life.

all they're crackled up to be

Christmas seems to be associated with cookies as much as Thanksgiving is synonymous with pies. I don't know why this is the case, but my best guess is that a platter of cookies is much easier to give as a gift than a smushable, refrigeration-required pie.

oral-b from p&g

I love corn. I love it on the cob, in salads, in Mexican dishes, in the form of popcorn, and on it goes. What I don't love is when the kernels firmly lodge themselves between my teeth.

it's all about chemistry

As someone with pale, pale, bordering-on-albino porcelain skin, I'd like to believe that browner isn't always better...except when it comes to butter and a few other select edibles.*

*Just like with tanning, though, one can take it too far.

light as a feather, stiff as a board

I've put off making meringue cookies for far too long.

smell that?

Christmas is coming. I know this because the (cold, cold, cold) air is permeated with the scents of pine, peppermint, and baking spices. Food blogs are peppered with cookies (and sometimes, they're peppered with peppered nut cookies!)(isn't Pfeffernüsse a fun word?!).

Upon leaving a building, my nose promptly turns pink and simultaneously decides to run and stuff up. Plus, I can't even go to the grocery store without hearing "Santa Baby" (no...just no), "Christmas Shoes" (probably my absolute least favo[u]rite), or "Redneck 12 Days of Christmas" (which you may not have to suffer through if you don't live in the Land of Rednecks)(be thankful for that).*

$50 NOVICA gift card giveaway!

Hanukkah starts this weekend! Christmas is in less than three weeks! Have you gotten all your gifts? Are your decorations up?

I did a little holiday decorating this past weekend. My tree may be small, but I can fit all the gifts I've already purchased snugly beneath it...

puffed up

I've said it before, and I'll no doubt say it at least a hundred more times before my laptop becomes obsolete: Puff pastry is magical.

this post brought to you by the color orange

Orange vegetables tend to be extremely versatile, being just as useful as ingredients in savory recipes as in sweet ones. Pumpkin and carrots are obvious. For some reason, it takes a little bit more convincing when it comes to sweet potatoes, but they're probably my favorite. Another orange veggie that many don't consider as a delicious dessert ingredient is the butternut squash.

pour some (brown) sugar (and cinnamon) on me

Cinnamon, brown sugar, and caramel are very near and dear to me. They make up my baking trifecta.

leggo my eggo!

On second thought, you can keep your frozen, commercially mass-produced excuse for a waffle. I have one that's fresh and made from scratch by me!

comfort in a cupcake

Of all the comfort foods in all the lands, you'll find banana pudding near the top of my favorites list. Even though it's not always the most delicious thing in the world and it's a nightmare to photograph, there's something special about it that triggers a neuron or twenty in my brain and leads me to say, "Aaaaaah."

suh-weet!

Sweet potatoes need not be reserved for sweet potato casserole or sweet potato pie, though both are certainly worthy uses.

For a new taste, check out my sweet potato casserole cupcakes on The Back Burner!

dressed for success

After many posts with no chocolate, I did a u-turn and had about four in a row. I'm not playing games here, folks--this gal, she don't mess around. I'm turning around again (picture, if you will, Austin Powers' hilarious attempt at a three-point turn that becomes a 33-point turn...) and doing something savory. If there's anything more infrequent than a chocolate post on this blog, it's a savory post.

a second helping

One of my posts is not like the others. By that, I mean that one of my posts has been viewed more than 50 times more often than the next most popular post. That's huge. We're talking almost a million hits.

Disclaimer: In no way am I making light of actual crack addiction.

Thank you, Pinterest.

the roof of your mouth will thank you

I like peanut butter, but I'm somewhat annoyed by the way it coats the inside of my mouth when I try to eat a spoonful of it. It's even a problem between two slices of bread or crackers, particularly if there's no jelly or jam to moisten things up.*

*Ever had a sandwich consisting of saltines and peanut butter? That's dry mouth at its finest!

What better way to combat this dilemma than to lighten the stuff up with whipped cream? Let's put it all in a pie shell and top it with chocolate while we're at it.

a heathful halloween

More chocolate! Rejoice, rejoice!

The posts this week on The Back Burner are all about Halloween candy, and I have one word for you: Heath.

chocolate-challenged

It's been ages since I've posted anything chocolate! I think that I'm not like most female humanoids because I don't really ever crave chocolate. Caramel, yes, but very rarely chocolate.

You're calling me a freak under your breath right now, aren't you. That hurts. That hurts, but I can't really deny it.

food day = good day

Learn a little bit about Food Day (which was yesterday, for the record, but we can still celebrate!) and get an awesome recipe for honey maple granola over at The Back Burner!

ginger spice

Not to be confused with Geri Halliwell. Any Spice Girlsfans out there? No? I won't lie, I liked 'em for a hot second. Correction: I liked a few of their songs; I was never a great admirer of the girls themselves.*

# cake (or, for my friends overseas, £ cake) (and a giveaway)

Pound cake. Is there any dessert that equals it in its combination of ease and speed of preparation and satisfying, delicious taste? Perhaps. Perhaps not.

have your beer and eat it too

It's pumpkin pie time at the Back Burner! This isn't just any ol' pumpkin pie, though. Nope, it's pumpkin ale pumpkin pie, and it'll be worth your time to take a gander!

a lil francophilia

Were the French the first to dip thick slices of bread into an eggy batter and fry them up? Some say yes, some say no, and we'll probably never know for sure. Regardless, one of the most popular breakfasts in America will always be known as French toast.

for ladies who lunch in lunchlady land

You may have noticed that I don't post a lot of savory recipes, mostly because I tend to eat the same meals over and over again. Plus, they're boring anyway and usually not post-worthy. Whether sloppy joes are exciting enough to feature or not, I've decided that it's their time!

pride-worthy pecan pie (and a giveaway)

Oh, Southern Living. You know the way to my heart, and it most definitely involves sugar.

fluffed nuts

We're going to begin this post with a barrage of trivia. Prepare yourselves. Did you know that the fluffernutter sandwich is a)also called the liberty sandwich, b)practically the state sandwich of Massachusetts, and c)composed mainly of marshmallow creme, which was invented by one awesomely-named Archibald Query?

I'd say that's pretty impressive for a sandwich consisting of three pretty simple ingredients!

pig appreciation

First and foremost, I want you to know that these are not the tough, dry, dense scones of your past experiences. They're pretty darn fluffy and moist, especially straight out of the oven, and this particular batch is so packed with good stuff that you might be inspired to oink.

the tilde is key.

I just realized that since I was a kid I've been saying that Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue on the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria. I was wrong, of course, for all these years. It was the Niña. I feel foolish.