of sconces and scones

Sometimes a person will say something that's so inadvertently humorous, it's a desperate struggle not to laugh in the poor schmo's face. This is especially important to control when you're in the business of customer service.


Many moons ago, I was employed by the cafe of our local Barnes & Noble. I quickly became an ace barista, whipping up a venti half-caf nonfat no-whip caramel mocha at 190 degrees and with two extra shots before you could even repeat that ridiculous order. We always had a mighty impressive bakery case, full of cookies, cheesecake, bars, muffins, scones, and sandwiches. Sadly, it all came pre-packaged and frozen, but hey--we did bake the cookies and scones!

Speaking of scones, I've never liked the suckers. They're either too dry or not sweet enough (or worst of all, both!) for my tastes. Not even our cinnamon scones could do it for me. I recall one lady in particular who was quite fond of our blueberry scones. However, it was extremely difficult to hold back the laughter when she would boldly demand "one blueberry sconce" with her coffee. Had I been raised more poorly, I would've replied, "We're fresh out of sconces, but we do have some lovely candelabra in the back. Can I offer you one of those?"


Anybody else see Falkor from The NeverEnding Story in this shot? I surely do.

Yep, we could count on her to bungle it every single time. No one ever corrected her, bless her heart. I'll bet she's still saying it.

This recipe didn't magically make me like scones (or sconces, if you must know), but it comes pretty close to being tolerable. They were plenty fluffy, just not quite sweet enough to meet my sugar needs. Do you have an awesome scone recipe that I should try before I pass the final verdict?

Big Blueberry Scon(c)es
(based on good ol' King Arthur Flour)

2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
6 tablespoons cold butter, cut into pieces
1 cup dried blueberries
2 eggs, beaten
1/4 cup vanilla yogurt
1 teaspoon vanilla

Preheat the oven to 375°F. Lightly grease a baking sheet.
Whisk the dry ingredients in a bowl. Cut in the butter until the mixture is unevenly crumbly. Gently mix the blueberries with the dry ingredients.
In a separate bowl, combine the eggs, yogurt, and vanilla. Add this mixture to the dry ingredients and stir very gently, just until combined. The dough will be quite moist, like cookie dough.
Scoop blobs about 1/4 cup in size onto the prepared sheet, leaving about 2" between each. Brush each ball of dough with a bit of milk for a nice, brown top.
Bake the scones for 20 to 24 minutes, or until lightly browned and a cake tester inserted into a scone comes out dry. Remove from the oven, and serve warm. I required abundant blueberry jam to make mine palatable.

SEE YOU NEXT YEAR!